The original Ted (2012, reviewed here) was a Seth MacFarlane comedy about a teddy bear that came to life when a little boy wished upon a star. A living, talking teddy bear became an instant worldwide sensation, but decades later he was just another forgotten former celebrity, still living with the same little boy who in the meantime had grown up to look like Mark Wahlberg. They spent their days cursing, drinking, and smoking dope until Wahlberg’s girlfriend pressured him to make Ted move out. So Ted got his own place and a job at a supermarket and even started a relationship with a a female coworker.
At the start of the sequel Ted marries her, but the state of Massachusetts decides Ted is property rather than a person and invalidates their marriage. Wahlberg helps Ted look for an attorney, but the only one willing to represent him pro bono is a young woman fresh out of law school (Amanda Seyfried), who doesn’t impress them until she hauls out a bong at their first meeting and they decide she’s just the sort of lawyer they’re looking for.
I wound up liking Amanda Seyfried quite a lot in this film in part because she cheerfully puts up with a lot from writer-director-voice-actor Seth MacFarlane. At one point Ted makes a reference to “fuck-me eyes” and Seyfried asks what that means. He says it’s just something some women have. She asks if she has fuck-me eyes. Ted says, “No, you have ‘Give me the ring, my Precious’ eyes.”
Later they’re at the New York Comicon and Seyfried comes face-to-face with someone wearing a very high-quality Gollum mask, and the resemblance is indeed striking.
At Comicon the characters also learn who the new Superman will be (Jonah Hill) and run into a married gay couple they know played by Patrick Warburton and Michael Dorn, who are attending the con in costume as the Tick (from the live action version of The Tick) and Worf (from Star Trek: The Next Generation), roles the actors actually played.
The previous film was original in its premise, which can’t be said for the sequel. Instead we get more over-the-top gross comedy, like Family Guy (also created by MacFarlane) but without the constraints of broadcast television.
Unless you’re a drunken frat boy (and maybe even then), there will probably be at least a few things in this film that will offend you. Even if you’re not offended, there will be jokes you don’t find anywhere near as funny as Seth MacFarlane apparently thought they were. On the other hand, you will probably find yourself laughing a fair amount of the time, even if you’re ashamed of yourself. I have mixed feelings about the film, but on balance I found it watchable.
By the way, you really need to watch the start of Amanda Seyfried’s appearance on The Today Show just to see cohost Willie Geist hilariously muck up introducing her on live television: