A little over a year ago fellow who goes by the name of LeonsBuddyDave on Tumblr created a Twitter account under the name "United Airlanes" (note the spelling of the second word) and posted a few joke tweets and promptly forgot about it. More recently he decided to check up on the account and discovered that it was regularly getting messages from people apparently mistaking it for the actual mouthpiece or beak or whatever of the real United Airlines-with-an-I. So LeonsBuddyDave started replying, and some of his responses are pretty funny.
For example, someone complained that the Dallas-Fort Worth staff were disrespectful, so @unitedairlanes responded, "Count your blessings. At JFK they throw knives." And when the original complainer demanded to know if this was supposed to be a joke, @unitedairlines tweeted, "No, it's a very serious warning. We accidentally hired bounty hunters to run that desk and now we can't stop them."
A happier passenger praised the customer service ladies. @unitedairlines cautioned, "They're pretty gentle until you make prolonged eye contact with them. If you do, don't blink, don't ever blink."
Someone tweeted, "Flew UA and they lost my luggage AND I couldn't get a refund or anything." Reply: "On top of that, there was NOTHING good in your luggage. Who the hell still uses a Zune?"
More here: http://cheezburger.com/100613by