This is absolutely true:

A few months ago in the wee hours of the morning I was sitting on the edge of my bed reading, and as I closed the book and was just about to lie down, I heard someone behind me say, politely and almost apologetically, “Excuse me.”

The sound came from somewhere on the other side of the bed, and the voice was that of a young woman, something not heard in my bedroom for a long time. I nearly jumped out of my skin and multiple layers of fat.

I turned — I downright whirled — and while the room was not brightly lit by the light on my nightstand, I could certainly see well enough to be sure that I was alone. But the voice had been too clear to be my imagination or a sound from outside.

And besides, it kept speaking, from the very direction I was looking.

Its exact words, in their entirety, were, “Excuse me. Software Update needs your attention.”

That’s when I remembered that I’d left my MacBook Air downloading a large operating system update.

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